“If I see one more fedora-wearing hipster striding past my house, I may hyperventilate. Which leads nicely into my next point…
…I just want a normal life. I realize that hipsters are a part of life and that there’s no use hating them… I just don’t want to be surrounded by them, like some ghostly vapor you can’t escape that takes up all the oxygen in the room, ya know?
…I might be mistaken for a hipster at first glance. But I’m pretty sure I’m not one.
Yes, I have a love-hate relationship with my iPhone and my MacBook. Yes, I wore Chuck Taylors when everyone was wearing Reeboks and legwarmers, and still do (meaning I wear Chucks, not Jane Fonda gear). But, bear with me here. I do not have a single tattoo. I do not drink PBR. I do not ride a “fixy” (fixed gear bike). I do not own a fedora… Irony is NOT my chief aim when dressing myself… I wear skinny jeans, but I’m a chick, I’m allowed — I’ve been wearing skinny jeans for years… Could a hipster write such a spectacular rambling digression? Probably. Never mind.”
Senator Orrin Hatch: “President Obama has traded in the hard hat and lunch bucket category of the Democratic Party for the hipster fedora and a double skim latte”
“I never imagined people might suggest I was a hipster! How on earth could they have come to such a conclusion as I never went out of my way to create any particular style; I was always just me…
It turns out that in many ways I do dress like a hipster. I wear black rimmed glasses, hats, plaid shirts, and Doc Martins. I tend to own a lot of t-shirts that have 80’s and 90’s nerdy references on them… I suppose from the outside I do dress like a hipster…
My Black Glasses:
I have this powerful desire to claim I wear my black glasses to support my nerd roots… The fact is I have bad eyesight… So what’s the hipsters excuse? …I just need to see street signs before I wrap my car around them. Also they look great on me.
My Plaid Shirts:
When I got off the turnip truck in Hollywood from my home state of Maine I had a pretty impressive collection of plaid shirts. Not just plaid shirts, mind you, DICKIES plaid shirts. I was pretty happy with my wardrobe until I realized that in LA, and most of the world, DICKIES and plaid shirts are the unofficial uniform of Hipsters… I should have realized that when I saw a DICKIES store next to a Gap!
…if I’m going to be lumped with hipsters for sporting plaid, can’t we all just admit the Seattle folks got here first? …I don’t think I bought my first plaid shirt until years after, but still.
My “Ironic” T-Shirts:
I have no ironic t-shirts… I swear, if it wasn’t for the desire to keep some amount of civility I’d go around punching anyone wearing a shirt of something I like who couldn’t answer direct questions about it…
My Hats and Dock Martins:
I look good in hats… and Docs are damn comfortable shoes.… Furthermore, I don’t have a lot of money, so I drink the cheapest beer I can find which is often, coincidentally, Pabst Blue Ribbon.
So maybe I look like a Hipster from time to time… I don’t care to dress in any way but the way I choose… How can any of them be individuals if they dress in such a way as to have obviously track-able patterns? Being yourself was never so easy to buy.”
I always wanted to have a fedora
just like Indiana Jones or maybe a businessman from the same era…
But now I CAN’T have a fedora.
Because hipsters stole them…
All of them…
If I wore one, I’d look like one, or worse… They’d see me… And they’d talk to me… About Apple products and bands nobody gives a shit about because the music sucks ass.
So I cannot…
“The pedestrian subculture of wasted youth known as Hipsters has experienced a strong rise in our culture. With hipster fueled events like… Burning Man reaching new levels of popularity in the mainstream media, you will surely know who they are.
…They wear skinny jeans, ironic handlebar mustaches, V-neck shirts and dumb hats. They wear big glasses — that’s a key thing usually — asymmetrical haircuts, wool caps in the summer, Yasser Arafat scarves [kaffiyehs], American spirit cigarettes, and drink Pabst Blue Ribbon or cheap beer. It’s all about people trying so hard to look like they’re not trying hard. Is this individuality?”
“Take “hipsters” for example. You guys love your Starbucks. It’s like the sublime epitome of hipster’s coolness. The little Starbucks cup with a baked cake or roll or whatever. I can’t help but feel like part of your self image is that you feel more “fit” or “healthy” because you wouldn’t be caught dead in a McDonald’s or a deep fat fry bar-b-que place. Because Starbucks, the one and only Mecca of fitness and coolness, is so so so much healthier!”
“Hipsters have got to go! We’ve had enough of them. Personally, I’ve had enough of their thick rimmed glasses… There are so many things that I hate about hipsters. I hate the beer that they drink and I hate the art that they like. I also hate how hipster males only date hipster females and vice versa.”